Wow it's been a while! diving and almost dying

After we left Maputo we spend time in inhambane. We dove the entire time we were there.
We saw the following
Cornet fish
Trumpet fish
Honey comb moray
Scorpion Fish
Peacock manta shrimp (AWESOME)
paper fish
blue sea star
parrot fish
giant tiger cowrie
Domino Anemone fish
big eye fish
angel fish
raccoon butterfly fish
giant clams
MANTA!!!!!
African grouper
Banner fish
Moorish idol
fairy basslet
jack fish
cow fish
puffer fish
OCTOPUS
torpedo ray
black reef moray
juvenile giant moray
potato grouper
honey comb moray
A LOGGER HEAD TURTLE (swam right up to alex)
dragon moray
CROWN OF THORN STAR FISH
bat fish
toby  puffer fish
juvenile crocidile fish
iota slug
red anemone
giant frog fish
porcelain crab
white paper fish
along with huge schools of fish, and giant fish!
that was during 5 dives...not all in one dive. on our 3rd dive when we ascended there were humpbacks in the distance, and devil rays breached while another group was ascending! On our 4th dive we were able to hear the humpbacks singing while we were diving. what an amazing experience.

After a week of diving we hoped in a mini bus and headed to vilankulous. We met a nice french man and his girlfriend from Zimbabwe...the nice french guy invited us to stay at his parents olive farm in the south of france. we accepted with out hesitation.


Leaving Vilankulous was quite an adventure. Having arrived for the bus at 430 am to find someone in my assigned seat (mind you it was the first and only assigned seat i had in africa) i threw a good old American style hissy fit until he moved. The bus left right on schedule at 530am (when it was full) and we headed out into the fog with headlights that didn't work. Everyone on the bus slowly fell asleep with the gentle weaving in and out of traffic/dogs/garbage being skillfully handled by the driver, settling into the middle of the road (or 3rd lane as commonly found in most 3rd world countries). the sun had just finished rising and i was getting cozy in my sleep sheet when out of the fog comes a huge semi truck barreling towards us at high speeds. at the last possible second the truck starts honking and the bus swerves off the road. From the should to the road is not level, and from shoulder to whats beyond is a good 7 foot drop. The bus becomes eerily silent as the driver attempts to regain control as we swerve off the road and back on to it multiple times. In my head i am preparing for the bus to roll, and what to do if it does. I think to myself well at least Alex is next to me...he will cushion my fall. We slowly careen to a stop with the front left side of the bus slightly lower than the rest. Dazed and scared we all file out of the bus to see that the front axel has snapped in half!



African road flares


Safe and all in one piece we wait for our new bus to arrive. After 13 hours (1st bus, waiting, 2nd bus...which traveled no faster than 35mph) we made it to beira. The town of Beira had been shut down early as there were protests in maputo over the rising increase in food and petrol prices, and officials were afraid the same would happen. After our long and dusty ride we showered and decided to have Chinese for dinner. Which turned out to be the highlight of the adventure. The little old Chinese couple have been living in beira for over 15 years and they grow their own bean sprouts! after a month of no Chinese food, this little girl was very happy.

Maputo and an apology

i'm really bad at this blogging thing...Alex has been yelling at me to write for weeks. Honestly it's probably one of the few things we have fought about on this trip.

So here is the start of Mozambique. We were there before Malawi...i don't know the dates, the only reason i have a clue what day of the week it is, is because of the birth control.. enjoy the post :) and keep reading
xoxo
K and A

MAPUTO

Having arrived in Maputo another shit hole of a big city, I was not happy. Swazi had been dusty and this place seemed like a city built on a sand dune. Maputo is by no means 3^rd world, it just looks that way. It’s a huge bustling city…it’s just in a country that was in civil war until 1994.  Once ruled by the Portuguese, the evidence is in the food, white people, as well as architecture.

Armed with good information about the taxi system from our german friend we met on the way from swazi, Alex and I and our newly acquired friends Chelsea and Paul (the Australians, that almost got left at the boarder) set out to find a taxi that didn’t ask for payment in south African rand. RAND!?!? Aren’t we in Mozambique?

We checked into Fatima’s, sharing a room with the Australian’s on the promise that Alex wouldn’t snore. We dropped our bags and were off to explore this big city.  Walking around the city we stumbled about a restaurant Alex had read about. A local’s braii (BBQ) spot on the corner of Hochimin and Ave Michelle Samora, we popped in thinking we would only stop for a drink, seeing as how it was only 530pm. But as is normal in this part of the world the sun went down and it was instantly midnight dark out.  The smell of the braii got to us and we caved and decided to eat dinner early.

After dinner we walked back, where I learned firsthand how Mozambiquian’s never have change. I over paid for a bag of hair bands and a small thing of tiger balm, either because the guy conned me or because he couldn’t count. Our broken Spanish was no match for his Portuguese and I gave up really only losing about 3 dollars.

Upon returning to the hostel alex grabbed the computer and proceeded to be anti-social for the next 2 hours while I phoned a mysterious women named Cristina whose number I had gotten from Sean in Swaziland. We were told that Cristina had a camp on a peninsula so that it was absolutely amazing and we had to stay there. She said she would get back to us about which days worked best for her for us to come stay out at the camp. Feeling slightly confused I figured we would figure it out eventually. I sat down to chat with Chelsea and Paul and a group of other hostel mates. WE were all chatting nicely when a brit from Liverpool named Mike started hawking the dive center he was working at in a town just south of Tofo (pronounced tofu). Mike and I got to talking and would thing lead to another, I asked if he had ever been to Honduras and dove in utila. His response yes and then he asked when we had been there….my response during the earthquake. Turns out he was in utila at the same time as us, doing his dive master training at the same shop. It also turned out that our instructor for our open water course was now teaching somewhere in northern Mozambique….what a small world. Off to bed with only light snoring from Alex.

The next day we decided to venture into the non-tourist market of Xipamanine. The market is bigger than 4 football fields, and contains everything from live goats and chickens to plumbing parts. It is the real heart of commerce for Maputo, and except for Chelsea and Paul there were no other white people. When I say market, I do not mean tile floors and flourscent lights. Don’t forget I said Maputo feels like it was built on sand dune. The ground is pressed sand, the stalls are made from rickety pieces of wood, and it smells like no one has a proper shower in weeks.

When entering a market like this, one is always a little nervous for their personal well being, especially since we had heard tales that this market was the hub for black market activity. However we found it to be quite the opposite. Alex and I stumbled upon an alcove where a woman was selling peri-peri chicken. We each got a plate and were shuffled into the hot, dark, small kitchen to eat sitting on milk crates. The food was amazing, but far too big of portions. After eating about half my plate I was too full and handed the plate back to the women cooking, feeling absouletly terrible to be wasting food, the women didn’t mind and dug right into my leftovers. We wandered the market, making our way from district to district. People kept asking me to take their picture, and at one point a woman asked to have her picture taken with Alex. Excitedly Alex ran behind her table and pretended to be selling her wares; right before I snapped the shutter this old toothless woman planted a huge kiss on Alex! We made our way out of the market hoping that we would be able to find Chelsea and Paul. Once we located them (not hard to find the white people when they are the only other 2), I excitedly told them about the live chickens and goats. They missed that part so we took the direct route back to the farm section (next to the piping section). On the way out of the market….no surprise some random guy pulled my hair. I started screaming people were laughing and I realized he was just having some fun.

Later that day, we received a mysterious text message from Cristina saying she was expecting us on Macaneta the next day, and to meet at Costa del Sol restaurant in the morning. Confused, we figured whatever we’ll figure it out; it’s all part of the adventure.

The next morning we headed out to buy some plane tickets and make our way over to the restaurant. We arrived a little early, ate lunch and sat in the sun wondering where the hell we were going. Eventually we found Cristina, along with a group of people working for the UN or an NGO, and one couple. We piled into 2 speed boats, and made our way across the bay to a peninsula that is only accessible via boat. We arrived to the peninsula around lunch time, and were presented with a huge spread of fresh fruit, prawn curry, rice, fresh bread, real butter, and every imaginable accompaniment you could imagine, satiated and happy Cristina showed us each to our rooms. The rooms are safari tents built on platforms with no electricity and no indoor plumbing, one said looks out to bay of Maputo, and the other side looks out to the Indian Ocean. Macaneta is the kind of place where all you do is walk the peninsula playing and tide pools, arriving back in time for your next meal. Needless to say the place was magical, the perfect place for a honeymoon. The big city in the distance it was a world away from anything we had ever seen. The other guests left the next day, and with a promise from Cristina that she would return the following afternoon to pick us up, we set about enjoying the camp for ourselves. The next turned out to be too rough to cross and we ended up spending an extra night in paradise….boy were we upset.

When the water was calm enough, Cristina sent the captain to pick us up. We arrived back on the main land to Cristina waiting with a mini-van and her 2 beautiful grand-daughters.  We jumped in the car and were shuttled back to Cristina’s home off of avenue of some communist dictator.  She had prepared for us a huge breakfast of muesli, yogurt, honey, eggs – 3 ways, meats, bread, cheese, fresh fruit, and my favorite….fresh passion fruit juice. Full and clean (with a proper hot water shower) we headed over to the Maputo Central Hospital to deal with Alex’s ear infection. Driving from building to building trying to find the right place Cristina explained the payment system – a sliding scale based on your position. As we were tourists (from America) we paid the equivalent of $15 and Alex was seen within a matter of 10 mintues, cutting the line of 30 patients. Prescription in hand we were on our way. Having a hard time shaking Crisitina and the girls we agreed to join them on their errands for the day.  Running errands turned into a chauffeured tour of the city with a native Mozambiquian. Highlights included; the main train station designed by Eiffel, Voertrekker monument, a trip to the fruit market where the girls introduced us to all the delicious local fruit, Alex and the girls running races through the Hindu temple after eating the most delicious samosas, “china town”, and the only synagogue in the city. After a long day Cristina prepared us a meal of amazing peri-peri chicken and chips, we played games with the girls and passed out. The next morning we awoke at 4am to catch our 5am bus to Tofu. Before my glasses were even on I was ushered by Cristiana to the kitchen table and commanded to start chopping chilies for the fresh Peri-Peri she was making for Alex.

The bus to Tofu like every other bus in Africa was hot, over-crowded, and slow. Eventually we made it to Inhambane where we were met by Mike our Dive instructor for the Advanced open water course.

malawi aka hell on earth

hi there all

sorry its been so long but we've been in the worst place on earth and by that i mean Malawi

seriously this country is total crap

we hate it here the people are ugly and smelly and dumb and ignorant and they beg like victorian street children.

it all started when we got taken for 50 US bus unscrupulous money chargers at the boarder. their money is worthless and only comes in denominations up to 500 ( which is equivalent of 3 bucks)

anyway we crossed with a pakistani guy who was on business and immigration gave us a hard time about the dipolomatic aspects of sharing a cab. but we did get a free ride from the mozambique boarder to blantyre ( capitlish city ) spent the night in a decent lodge and awoke wiht a chest cold and pink eye (kim had the pink eye) spent the next half day in the hospital where i met a doctor whose sister lives in Mammaroneck.

anyway we went to mt mulanje ( 2nd higest peak in africa ) walked 2km up a huge hill with all our gear and checked into the a 70 us a night hotel ( over priced ).

next day did the boma path up top CCAP hut ( look it up its insane and 2500m straight up hill i almost died

the rest of the shit show adventure when we get to lilongwe...

we're at the airport ( in blantyre yeah free interne)t and its on fire literally the field is burning and there i s a huge cloud of smoke and fire trucks

anyway mt mulanje was tough, i mean really tough as in I lost 4 pints of sweat and almost had six heart attacks on the way up alone. we had a guide named shawn-o he did not understand the concept of time. In fact I don’t think anyone in this country does. Anyway we stayed at a nothing hut up on the plateau called CCAP hut it was cold really cold and we were ill prepared for the lack of food and drink. We decided to come down the next day and asked shawn-o to take us down the easiest route. But since we never went through the legit channels for a guide we couldn’t go back to the Likunbula forestry office and instead had to go Nessa village about 15k east of Mulanje town. Anyway the decent was murder. It was sheer down and bone crushing stone of pure slippery slopes. It started with a nice walk through meadows and forests on the tops of the mtn but quickly turned nasty. Kim fell many times and we kept slamming our toes as we came down. It was rough by the end we were tired hungry and ready to stop walking. But the best was yet to come. Nessa village is still 5k from the main rd and the village only has one car no taxis and a few bikes. Our guide didn’t have any cash so the bike taxi route was out. We asked about a car taxi directly back to the lodge but the car owner couldn’t drive the car and the only guy in town who could drive didn’t have papers. So we had to hup it 5 long long kilometers down a hot and dusty road to catch a minibus back to town. We decided to stay in the kara’o’mula lodge again for sake of ease and again it was overpriced and not worth it, however it was the most rewarding shower ever and we slept like babies. The next day we decided to head for the beach at cape maclear. big mistake. we took a mini-bus back to limbe and tried to get another to blantyre only to realize all roads go from Limbe. Without enough cash for the mini-bus we hopped on a big bus thinking it would go semi direct. Wrong wrong wrong. We sat at the depot for an hour waiting for it to fill to the brim. We were squished in the back with 4 other people and a fan. The only redeeming factor was the rasta bus driver pumping bob marley the whole way. It took 7 hours to go 300K. Miserable tired hungry and poor we got off the bus at monkey bay and had to change 80 USD for enough cash to get through the night. We thought we would be able to get cash in cape Maclear, again we were wrong. We took an open air pick up truck with no joke 25 other people and 5 days worth of supplies for a village down a bumpy dirt rd to reach cape mac 45 min later. I met a cool born again named Deniss on the matola he only tried to convert me to christ like 5 times. Anyway we landed at Fat money and check into another over priced room, but we were tired hungry and cranky and the bed was glorious.

Cape maclear is .billed as a hippie pardise, and that’s what we were hoping for after 5 very tough days of travel and activity. What we found was a small village where “beach boys” do nothing but harras you the sun beats unrentlessly and the everything is overpriced. We had no idea why this was considered one of the best places on earth to chill out. We spent our first day taking more matolas and more pick up taxis back to mongochi ( the closest town with an atm in total we spent 6 hours to go 140 km. it sucked. But much like Malawi the suckiness is part of the adventure. By the time we got back to the town We begrudgingly ate the chips, tomatoes sauce and fish mixture that $18 had bought us and then went to the bar for a quick beer before passing out. The next day we had to get up early for our scheduled fresh water dive in lake Malawi. There is only one dive shop in town but the price was right and we needed to get a freshwater dive under our belts. 70 bucks for two dives aint bad and we had another travlling couple to keep us company. We dove a small wreck at 30m but kim had difficulty descending and we only spent about 30min down deep. After a refill of air and some snorkling on a preserved island in the lake we did our second dive and saw chilid fish and lots of them. Back on dry land we stopped for lunch and tried to figure out our plans for the next coupke of days. W decided to stay another night in cape maclear just to maclear our heads of the disastrous days of travel. We spent the next day doing nothing and it was glorious. However we couldn’t get the hotel to come down in price for the 5^4th night on the room so we decided to head toward Lilongwe just to be closer to the airport and our eventual escape. Now I hate to admit when i'm wrong but the transit portion of our return was miserable. We should have stayed in cape maclear and taken the ferry the next day, we should have never taken that smelly fish filled mini bus to mongochi, we should have stopped and gotten off in liwonde ( to see the national park and do a cheap safari) we should have switched to a bus to Lilongwe in Zomba but no we stayed on 6 miserable hours back to Blantyre. The guesthouse we had stayed in on that first night was full and we had to cab it up to a overpriced shitty hot, sweaty noisy lodge filled with UN kids doing internships. A bad Indian food meal later we were both on the shitter and praying for the next day. We decided to rent a car but later found out that the net day was Eid- al-fitr and everything was closed up tight. In disgust we stopped at the air Malawi office to confirm our flight and to ask about the AXA bus to Lilongwe, what we found was the smartest man in Malawi. He realized that our flight had us flying from Lilongwe back to Blantyre, then back to Lilongwe and finally on to dare s salaam. This man, who will remain nameless to protect his innocence, may be the only person in the entire country with the ability to think abstractly, he put us on a flight to Lilongwe that night ( thank god) and we spent the next 4 hours playing in the internet and eating a delicious Ethiopian meal, finally real coffee.

We landed in Lilongwe were pick up by our hostel and taken back for our executive room stay. A well spent 40 bucks and things were starting to look up. We went for Korean food at Kims and watched Wanted in the hostel. The next day we did up the town, I had my crocs stolen in cape maclear ( damn you beach boys) so I needed to replace them. We hit up the only western style shopping mall in the country and I found what is likely to be the only real croc dealer in the entire eastern Africa corridor. On the way back to town we went to Civo vs Silvers ( a Lilongwe darby match) which was the league final, it was free and kim and I became more interesting then the match itself when we got close to the field ans started to engage the raucous crowd.

We hit up a local market and I purchased some socks, then we stopped by the tailors section and I took of my pants and had a local guy fix my buttons and pockets. I don’t know what was stranger me without pants in a market place in Lilongwe or the fact that after about 30 seconds no one was paying attention to me. That night we had fried chicken and spicy fries ( it was like eating at popeyes except it was all hallal) and it was cheap. We drank some beers with the Peace Corps kids who were marveling that what they considered civilization after 3 months in a dirt hut and hit a local bar for some interesting dancing and drinking. The next day we tried to kill some hours by sleeping late sitting for a long breakfast and doing some shopping at Shop Rite. Finally we found a cab and high tailed it for the airport on our way to freedom. I sweet talked my way through security with tons of contraband and we boarded the plane out of Dantes inferno. Ah sweet freedom thy name is Tanzania.

swazi gold

G'day loyal blog readers,

We know it’s been a while and I’m not really sure if/when we’ll be able to post this but I’m writing to you tonight from the beautiful port city of Maputo in the Portuguese speaking country of Mozambique. Since we last spoke we’ve had quite the adventure. Cape Town in all its beautiful, fun familiarity and jewiness had to come to a close and we did it in style. Roaming the streets drinking beer in the Shabeens , hiking Table Mountain at least the top plateau we were gipped out of the walk down by two over ambitious cable car sales girls who told us that it was too late in the day to take the two hour climb worth it or safe. Either way cape town is a dream city

More days of beach sunsets and delicious international food until it was finally time to depart for the other side of the country, Durban. White South Africa’s former playground this teaming city, the third largest in South Africa has a very Mediterranean feel, with art deco beach front hotels and a bustling Indian population the international exotic feel surrounds most movements in and around the city. Kim and I decided to venture out into the Indian Quarter seeking our favorite, naan set and banana leaf curry. Getting dropped off at the old Victoria Market we hungrily wandered about in search of spicy bunny chow and blistering curries. Sadly disappointed that the food stalls were closed we asked the spice man for a local recommendation, but not before buying some Mother in law exterminator curry powder and kebab spices for the braai we were planning for that night. We got a hot tip that the best Bunny Chow in Durban was at a place called Orientals some fifteen minutes walk away. A note on bunny chow it’s not at all what it seems, is a loaf of bread I’m talking white wonder breads style load with a hard crust, hollowed out and filled with chicken, mutton veggies and curry, it’s a staple and it sits like a brick in your stomach. Anyway we walk over not before passing one of the more authentic African scenes we had yet to encounter. The streets were bustling with shoppers on a busy Saturday and we were nervous having been told the downtown was not the safest place for a couple of white tourists. Never the less we got to witness an authentic Zulu dance on the corner of queen and smith streets, the drums the kicking and sweating the nakedness it was insane. We found the oriental after passing what appeared to be a thousand stalls filled with all the usual crap that markets in the developing world sell. To our surprise it was in a mall. Too hungry to complain we had our bunny chow and headed back out into the madness, black comedians telling jokes in isiZulu, street kids looking for a handout and fresh popcorn with salt and vinegar powder. We walked a bit of the downtown in the old court house and the city hall and decided to head for the waterfront. We took a side street and it was a total shock. Sheebeans bumping tunes, men pissing in alleys, junkies shooting up in the street, kids playing all around and teens drinking on the curb. Looking dead ahead we managed to bypass the riffraff and checked out the Museum of Maritimes for KwaZulu-Natal, Heading home now we started up the braai and were content to spend the night on the couch watching little miss sunshine until two punk chicks arrived looking for trouble. Not one to miss a good fucking girl opportunity I of course opened my mouth and asked what was on tap for the night. Just so happens the girls were in town for the "I heart Durban" party that very night at a banging local night club. We decided to hit it up and were picked up by Cleo’s friend Eric who was hammered to say the least. He had to trade driving responsibilities with his buddy who proceeded to puke everywhere out of the car. The party was fun and it was nice to let loose it was very hipster and it was brilliant to be comfortable in a foreign land.

In the AM Kim and I were up early to get a proper breakfast before heading out with the girls for a day at the beach. Windy doesn’t even describe it but I still braved the cold and sand storms and made my maiden dip into the Indian Ocean. We spent the day lazing about strolling on the promenade and eating ice cream, before heading back to the hostel for some afternoon reading and the like. Kim and I went for more Bunny Chow on the Florida road where we met a very interesting coulee. The reigning Queen of Durban gay society and his amazing beautiful muse a fantastic Zulu named Michelle. The night we interesting to say the least and it ended with the two of them blowing coke in the bathroom of a gay bar while Kim and I and a very out of place little punk rock girl stood around and laughed.

The next day we hoped the overpriced BazBus for a the long haul to Swaziland, since it's the only real connection from door to door they basically tell you what the price is and you pay it. 500 Rand which is about 70 bucks per person and seven hours of driving through the amazing beautiful Crocodile coast and past the hulwehe nature reserve we hit the boarder of Swaziland determined to dig for gold we rode to Swaziland backpackers thinking it would be a one off stay until we could hit the cooler looking Lindwala we ate at the local sundowners had a few beers and hit the sack with no idea of how or what to do in Swaziland. We woke to the sounds of Sean, the owner and his three dogs fighting over something or other and were easily convinced to go along on the daily tour of the cultural village, the cra(ft)p market and a huge waterfall and some other local highlights. The day was long but fun and we picked up some local crap, was scammed into getting a mask a dish and some fabric but it was cheap and the yelling is always a good time. Saw some amazing cultural village and had two dumb Dutch chicks kneel to me in role play submission Kim was happy that she was first wife and she got to wrap the beehive huts in twine. Lunch was a huge sheshenyama (place to cook meat0 and too much beer followed by the best warm chocolate brownie in Swaziland. Later in the day we headed to Matshpapa for a quick trip to the Spar supermarket for food for dinner. If it appears all we do is drink and eat, it’s because all we do is drink and eat. The night turned wild when the boys decided to do up a fire pit in the back yard and the girls thought it would be good for a midnight swim. We struck gold and all crowded around the bon fire for beers and revelry. Kim and I called it a night just as things were heating up only to learn that wild things do really happen in Swaziland after dark.

Next day I had to go to Manzini (the capital of Swaziland) for a new, well used but new to me, digital camera the one I pick up off those dirty hebs at Adorama in New York shit the bed after one charge and is now a pile of rubble in my bag. I hoped on the back of Sean’s bike and raged the roads at 120 Kilometers an hour and got to town in haste as it appeared he was anxious to get back to the farm and out of the hustle of this small African city. Picked up an old Nikon for about 70 USD from the Indian guys as they call them and headed home. We decided to go back to shesheyama for lunch and then to the local hotsprings, we never made it to the hot springs. Some five beers and a ton of replacement meat later ( some drunk ass friend of a staffer bumped Sean as he was going to cut the freshly charred mat and spilled bout 200 rand worth of meat onto the floor. I’ve never seen a yorkshireman lose his cool the way this guy did. We made more meat but needed to get more beer to get through the pain of losing such precious commodity. After which we headed back to the hostel for yet another evening of fun and braai, more cooking more fires more meat and more beer, it’s apparently the Swazi land motto. Well tonight the fire wasn’t there but the influx of new travelers made the evening fun as we sat around the garden, drinking smoking and enjoying ourselves to the fullest.

Passing out early as we had to be up to catch the kombi to moz, we hustled out of the house in the morning and jumped in the back of a passing pickup truck me, Kim and three Spaniards headed to manzini. One wrong tune one ungrateful bum and too many people e on the minibus we were at the border. Having gotten visas at the mission in NY we walked through with no problems and joined the van on the other side. Two travelers we were with weren’t so lucky there were delayed some 20 min and it was only because of a friendly German who spoke the local tongue that the bus waited for them. Hot, smelly and tired we emerged in the insanity that is Maputo. Picking up a sim card from the side of the road a made a few calls and got the four of us ( not the German he was too cool) a room at Fatima’s backpackers. Side note small mini-buses are called chappas but the German kid kept saying choppa and I couldn’t think of anything but Arnold yelling “Get to the Choppa” from Predator.

We got had on the exchange for rand to Metikaysh, but t was enough for dinner beers and the room. Time for bed now

Good night fair reader until we meet again.

cape town classic

so we made it safe and sound to the bottom of the world. spent the last three days enjoying the sights, smells, sounds and tastes of cape town. if you've never been here its like san fran married miami beach and then had a threesome with barcelona. needless to say its very cosmopolitan( maybe that's because we've been staying in the gayborhood). its also super jewy. we went into a grocery store on our first night and it was like we were in the supersol in scarsdale.

anyway we were supposed to take a 26 hour train from jo'berg to cape town but when i got to the station to buy tickets they told me the train was full for a week. so we rented a car and i drove a lot. I'm not kidding its a 16 hour drive that i did all alone in two days. Kim can't drive stick well and she certainly cant drive on the other side of the road so i did 11 hours one day and 5 the next. the drive was long straight and insane. But beautiful we drove through the karoo, which is a bit like arizona, or nevada minus the indian reservations, with the addition of wild ostrich.

stayed out in what is the equivalent of a small mid west white trash town in a cheap motel ( however we did have an excellent karro breakfast with lamb chops and boerwoers ( tasty sausage) eggs and veggies.

next day we drove the rest of the way through a totally different climate ( not after i got pulled over on trumped up charges of reckless driving. which was total shit but we didn't get fined and i have the international drivers permit so he let us go. on the way to the cape you have to pass through some insane mountains and we saw snow covered peaks against a perfect sky and wine vineyards all around. oh and we saw a baboon on the side of the road which looked like it was hitchhiking.

cape town is sweet and if i had to live anywhere in south africa it would be here. we're staying in bantry bay which is just off the coast. From the front door of our guest house you can see the mountains, and from the back you can see the ocean.

we did the cape of good hope and table mountain national park on tuesday and the cape wine lands in stellenbosch yesterday. good hope is amazing, we passed through a bunch of small surfing and fishing towns on our way down the peninsula from cape town. as is with most of south africa, we passed some multi million dollar homes and some insanely poor shanty townships. the drive is coastal so you can see sharks and whales breach when the weather is right. as we rounded the hook we thought of all the tons of IPA's that had to round the False bay on there way to the other side of the world. the waves were immense and we got to pass through some of the most desolate and beautiful scenery on earth. we saw springbok, three ostriches, and a tons of baboons in the park. the bottom of the world puts some things in perspective like just how large a place this globe really is and just how far away from home we really are.

in terms of close quarters its been all motels and guesthouses so far so we really haven't interacted too much with other travelers, i have to say at least from my perspective i am really enjoying kim's company and haven't once wanted to sell her into white slavery. shes a trooper and has put up with my madness to date, so thanks babe but we still have 51 weeks to go so forgive me if i start to loose my gourd in a couple of months.

we did a brandy distillery and a cape methode classic ( champagne style whites) as well as two more traditional wineries. i only managed to lock the keys in the car once so far. see i wasn't that drunk. capped the day off with some amazing fresh seafood on the docks in hout bay ( prawns, calamari, and hoek ( type of fish) slaw and a beer all for under 15 bucks.

today we dropped the rental car off in cape town centre and did a bit of walking around. hit up the Holocaust museum and the great synagogue. went to the university districts for some shopping and cafes, and did a stroll down Long St. which is there equivalent of Broadway. minibus taxi back to Seapoint which is a brilliant idea for new york, imagine those cheap chinatown buses ( not the ones that go to Philly and DC...the ones that are all in chinese and take people back to sunset park and flushing). 5 rand and you can hop on/of where ever you need to go. when i get home i'm buying 4 vans and doing the hipster circuit one over the williamsburg and one of over the Manhattan bridge charge two bucks a person don't leave till you're full and loop all day make a mint.

anyway back at the crib now about to go out for some night sunset photography on the promenade and then some Korean food.

bul-go-ki bitches

Soweto

I honestly had no idea what Soweto was going to be like. I had heard the talk of the people returning from their outings with Cedric. Tiny tin shacks as close as possible, 1,000 and 1,000 of people living on top of each other, Government promises leaving the people in destitute. Soweto is an urban area outside of Johannesburg that is made up of 49 townships  The area of Soweto is often known for its extreme uprising against Apartheid.

We were picked up at Pension Idube by Cedric. Cedric is an Afrikaner that has established a relationship with the people of Soweto to gain understanding of what happened in the townships during apartheid. As we drove he told of his work, explaining to us the youth, and their disinterested attitude which is really a stand against the verbal onslaught that they have grown up with from their grandparents and parents. I likened what Cedric does to Geoffrey Canada's work with the Harlem Children's Zone.
Alex will give you more information on what Cedric told us later on....

Soweto was overwhelming. Cedric dropped off in a township called Orlando East....this was however no Disney land. We were met by a local woman that had moved to Soweto from an area north of Jo'berg called Limpopo, in hopes of finding work. Eunice showed us around her 1 room home (bathroom outside shared with her 4 neighbors). Alex expressed interest in getting a shave, and Eunice walked us over to her friends house that is a barber. Alex sat down in the stool, had a questionable towel thrown over his shoulders and the man went to work. As Alex was shaved i explored the plot of land that belonged to the barbers father. On the plot of land stood a 4 room brick house that had been built by the government. From there the family had added 6-7 tin shacks to house their offspring and relatives, from what Eunice told us this is normal and one of the nicer homes. After Alex's shave we walked through Orlando East stopping only to watch a group of teenagers emulate the JabbaWockeeZ.

We hopped on a mini bus and rode to Kliptown. In my travels i have encountered great amounts of poverty, however i have never seen anything like this.

Full family's living in a tin shack the size of bathroom. It makes your New york city studio look like a mansion. The largest space is approx. 8x8 and often houses 3-4 people. No running water inside the shacks, instead there are taps with a hose spigot on top in different areas through out the township.....56 taps for 40,000 people. No electricity, so people use car batteries to power their radios and often use candles for light at night. Candles often lead to fires, and with the houses so close to each other many go up in flames at one time. I use the term tin shacks loosely as most of the homes are made up of old placard signs and billboards. What ever is big enough to create a side of a house.

After our walk through Kliptown we met with the owner of an orphanage called little rose. Little rose is situated right at the entrance of Kliptown. They have a feed the children program, which supplies the children with breakfast and after school snacks to keep them full on their walk to and from school (since there is no school in kliptown). They also provide after school programs and have a preschool program. Right now they have a 10 bed orphanage which houses 15 children from the kliptown township. They take in children rather than allowing them to be swallowed by the system. The organization is funded by visitors to the township as well as the people of kliptown....they have no government backing and no NGO help. I am trying to find a link for them and can't just yet...i will keep looking.

After Kliptown we stopped at a local butcher/Braai (BBQ) spot. Where we got to pick our own meat and then BBQ it. Alex manned the grill and impressed all the Africans with his skill. At his request someone bought Alex Jo'Berg Beer. After stern warnings from the locals to not drink and walk in the street as you may end up dead we all shared a carton of beer and were on our way.

Pretoria

we decided to pick up a car instead of trying to take a bus to Pretoria...good call it would have been impossible to do what we wanted to do otherwise. so we book a car for 230 rand a day which is about 30 bucks US and took a cab to park station , didn't get robbed and hit the M1 for the hour drive to the Afrikaners capital of Pretoria. stopped at Tings and Things ( the rasta reggae restaurant and bar that my old friend Anine suggested to us to eat some food and drink some beers while we waited for my long lost friend to meet us after work. i had no idea but shes a journalist who just returned to South Africa after years of living abroad, which was to our good favour. sat down and had a couple of beers thinking we would move on the next spot sooner then later. wrong. we stayed at tings and had a plethora of wacky shots and 2 for 1 cocktails until close to 730 . i think its the longest we've ever stayed in a restaurant that wasn't blue hills at stone barn. Pretoria is an interesting place, seemingly cleaner and safer then Jo'berg and certainly whiter. the red clay that lines most streets carries over to everything and its almost as if they put a city over a clay desert. we were only approached once for a handout and when we said no he was polite enough to agree to the answer and walked away.

Anine is quite the character and she told us a bit of her story. shes the daughter of an ambassador and what she wants most in the world is to move back to the land of her youth, the good ole US of A. we suggested she marry our friend David and even SMS'ed him with news of his pendant nuptials. awesomely tattooed, with streaks of purple running through her hair she reports for an Afrikaans newspaper as the murder/rape/incest correspondent for Pretoria. after a mix of beer/booze she thought it was best to leave the city center and head up to the 'burbs to meet her friends at a very South African bar. it was totally locals and i would be surprised if any other Americans had been there in the last year, if not ever. meeting some good people with wacky dutch names we had more of the local spirits and shared stories of travel and working lives. asking if we wanted to see some live music we missioned to the cafe Barcelona down the street and were surprised with tequila shots and castle beer as well as some blues in the vain of muddy waters. they still smoke inside here and it quickly got too smokey for my tastes. its weird when you venture out of the big city you end up in all white bars in strip malls with the AutoZone, KFC and a pizza place, seriously did i really have to travel 8000 miles for this.

by now its 10pm and one of Anine's mates decided it was a good idea to take a trip to the local rugby club to pick up a joint or two. well that was quite an adventure we made it to the club no problem but when we got there the kid who they were supposed to pick up from was so drunkhe forgot where he kept his stash, he also forgot how to speak English. that was good time. anyway by the time we got back to the bar anine had been called to a gruesome murder and kim and i decided it was time to head back to Jo'berg. with no real idea how to gt back to the Pension from the highway we took a chance and got off at the road we were told lead to the B&B, with Kim's good map skills and my fantastic driving we made it safe and sound. i love a city where stopping at red lights after dark is optional. more to come